She Was Romantic Before You Really Got To Know Her

A fair-labor alternative to Apple products?

2012-01-26T14:56:00.000-08:00

Everyone go to this website and ask Apple to offer fair-labor alternatives to their products: http://www.apple.com/feedback/iphone.html

After reading the front page article about Apple's suppliers on the New York Times website today, I would like to request that you offer a fair-trade version of your iPhone product, and possibly all your products, created at facilities that have higher safety standards, higher wages, and shorter workweeks. I think many people would be happy to pay an extra $100 for this "green" or "fair-trade" or "fair-labor" product. Until this happens, or until Apple formally addresses this serious and thorough problem in their business model, I will refrain from purchasing apple products.
re: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/26/business/ieconomy-apples-ipad-and-the-human-costs-for-workers-in-china.html?_r=1&hp

Don't stop to think whether.

2012-01-24T13:00:00.000-08:00

I DON'T STOP TO THINK WHETHER I CAN. I JUST GO AS FAR AS I CAN. AND IF I CAN, I CAN.

- Ray Eames

Call your girlfriend redux.

2012-01-23T12:26:00.001-08:00

Most poets.

2012-01-17T22:20:00.001-08:00

Most poets are not special besides the fact that they write poetry.

At war.

2012-01-14T16:21:00.000-08:00

You may have noticed that I've all but disappeared in the past few months, in the social scene, the writer scene, the whole scene. You may have wondered where I'd gone, or you may have not cared or even noticed at all. That's fine. So here's this explanation.

I've been spending almost all my free time outside of my job assisting and collaborating with visual artist Truong Tran, making all the digital art (video, photography, and digital collage) that ends up inside his sculptures. After months of work, the big show, which features my work in about half the art on the walls, is opening February 3rd at SOMARTS in San Francisco. It's called At War.

This goddamned poem is just too mean-spirited.

2011-12-09T00:00:00.000-08:00

"I wonder if you agree with John Barr, the president of the Poetry Foundation, who, with the help of a $200 million endowment, has been trying to popularize poetry by encouraging poets to write more upbeat poems.
Hell, no. I can’t believe this guy Barr is a poet, because I don’t think a real poet would think in that way. When a poem comes to you, you’re not going to say, “Oh, no, this goddamned poem is just too mean-spirited.” You’re going to run with it."

Philip Levine being Philip Levine.

Writers write very sometimes.

2011-12-06T23:38:00.001-08:00

One writer friend was complaining about another writer friend who was having lots of writer success but had written very little very poorly.

Then writer friend sighed and said oh well, I guess the only way to respond is to write very more very better than writer of very little very poorly.

I paused for writer friend to think about it and then said no, very best way to respond is trash talk. Lots of trash talk.

The dark decade.

2011-11-08T23:10:00.000-08:00

"The Mount Airy that Mark Driggers had returned to from Iraq also told a story—one of national decline. Ten years ago, the town might have felt like an irrelevant backwater, with the country's future taking shape in more dynamic and prosperous places like Silicon Valley, Cambridge, or Manhattan. Today, those enclaves seem increasingly like grotesque exceptions, celebrating the opening of Danny Meyer's latest restaurant while fourteen million Americans are more or less permanently unemployed, and millions more are in foreclosure or drowning in debt."

George Packer talks about the ten years after 9/11 as the decade where things that were already broken weren't fixed because America was focused on the things that didn't really matter. From The New Yorker.

Poet looking for community.

2011-11-04T15:57:00.000-07:00

Occupy Oakland.

2011-11-04T00:09:00.000-07:00

Cartoon by Marco Marilungo.

Not on the people you're doing it with.

2011-11-01T00:09:00.000-07:00

"If you regard each human interaction as an occasion for performance, your concern and attention will be focused on how well or badly you’re doing and not on the people you’re doing it with. This turned out to be true for me in the classroom, on vacations, at conferences, in department meetings, at family gatherings, at concerts, in museums, at weddings, even at the movies. Always I have one eye on the clock and at least a part of the other on whether I’m doing my part or holding my own; and always there is a sigh of relief at the end. Whew, got through that one!

It may be unnecessary to say so, but this way of interacting or, rather, not interacting does not augur well for intimate relationships. If you characteristically withhold yourself, keep yourself in reserve, refuse to risk yourself, those you live with are not going to be getting from you what they need. So my first wife didn’t get what she needed and neither, in her early years, did my daughter. Typically, I escaped to work and a structured environment where the roles are pre-packaged and you can ride the rails of scripted routines without having to display or respond to actual feelings."

From Stanley Fish's op-ed at the Times. It's breathtaking how concisely he has described something I constantly struggle with in my life.

SO MANY SONGS FROM THE 1980’s ARE ABOUT ONE-NIGHT STANDS

2011-10-13T00:07:00.000-07:00

I’ve shouted this a couple times. Once drunk, once sober. Both times with sincerity, and with a clarity that I don’t often feel. Both times thinking, this is surely not only what I want to say but this is surely also what people want to hear me say, which is an interesting and rare streak of confidence, or maybe disillusion, or both and none of those things.

Occupy Wall Street.

2011-10-05T14:59:00.001-07:00

"End corporate welfare and maybe we can get people off welfare." Truth.

Micro-blogging is for lovers.

2011-09-07T23:37:00.001-07:00

Not even sure what the point of full-format blogging is, it's so old-fashioned and nobody reads a blog unless it's a group blog.

No layoff from this condensery.

2011-08-29T00:05:00.000-07:00

Not being on facebook means not engaging in interactions that require little effort and are therefore likely to be less sincere and less invested in sustained and meaningful friendship than, say, almost any other form of communication. It also means losing touch with a lot of people. It also means having a lot more free time. It also seems to line up real nice with many of my other life choices, which are often alienating, slightly hermitic, and an attempt at condensing, condensing like Lorine Neidecker was always condensing at her condensery. And, as she says, no layoff from this condensery.

New issue of La Petite Zine · #27 The Broom · Is Live.

2011-06-30T15:54:00.000-07:00

I'm especially proud of this newest issue of La Petite Zine. It's the best issue ever and it's extraordinary for more reasons than one, more reasons than two, and more reasons than three, always three.

ISSUE 27 THE BROOM includes

Matthea Harvey

Molly Brodak

Cathy Linh Che

Anne Cecelia Holmes

Taryn Schwilling

Colleen McCarthy

Jean Valentine

Lyall F. Harris

Montana Ray

Robyn Art

Jane Lewty

Carol Muske-Dukes

Stacey Tran

Stephanie Ford

Leanna Petronella

Joanna Novak

Enjoy, it's free, and it took Melissa and I fucking forever to make so perfect it wraps itself around your ankles, pulls, and says, drop your purse and walk away.

Dear Duotrope.

2011-06-25T17:39:00.000-07:00

Hi Duotrope,

A while back, we noticed you took down our listing of La Petite Zine. We assumed it was because we started charging $2 per submission with our new online submission manager, as stated on our Duotrope market page. We understand your policy that a journal should be there to benefit the writers and therefore any magazine that you can't submit to for free should not be listed. But I felt the need to send you guys a message with our explanation and a request to add us back to your amazing market listing.

We spent a long time considering the fee before implementing it. Our reasoning was simple: we wanted a fee that would be the equivalent trouble of printing out, addressing, and mailing a submission to a more traditional magazine that only accepts snail mail submissions. $2 is that number ($1 which goes to us, and $1 which goes to the submission manager company). So far, we have seen no decline in submissions. In fact, we have seen a rise in submissions. This is no guarantee that people are submitting DESPITE the fee, but it is an encouraging fact. We have also noticed that the submissions, as we suspected, seem to be more specifically aimed at our publication aesthetics, and therefore probably more heavily considered by the authors.

In looking at some of the most trafficked journals on your market listing, I see two immediate examples of journals that probably had the same idea as us, the only difference being that they started out as traditional journals (not an online journal like La Petite Zine). Ploughshares and the Missouri Review, two of the most respected and highly-ranked journals in the country, both charge $3 for online submissions. Which of course is $1 more than La Petite Zine charges. Both of these markets accept snail mail submissions, which means that while there's no "fee," a writer is still required to purchase postage and materials, a cost that doesn't exist in electronic submissions. This is a cost that we've ballparked at $2, but Ploughshares and Missouri Review have ballparked at $3. Ploughshares even calls this cost "a service charge, not a reading fee" at this link. Ploughshares also advertises that "In general, you will receive a faster response online versus by regular mail" at this link which I consider to be an encouragement to submit electronically over snail mail.

Yog's Law (the policy that you refer to on your site as a reason for removing markets that charge a fee) states: "No, that doesn't mean that the author should get paper and ink for free, or that he won't pay for postage. It does mean that when someone comes along and says, 'Sure, kid, you can be a Published Author! It'll only cost you $300!' the writer will know that something's wrong. A fee is a fee is a fee, whether they call it a reading fee, a marketing fee, a promotion fee, or a cheese-and-crackers fee."

Our "fee" can, through what I consider a reasonable deduction, be consider equivalent to an author paying for postage, ink, and paper. And La Petite Zine, through what also seems like a reasonable deduction, is not saying "Sure, kid, you can be a Published Author! It'll only cose you $300!"

I'm interested in Duotrope's reasons behind markets like Ploughshares and Missouri Review being allowed to remain in your listings, and markets like La Petite Zine being removed from your listings. And, if you're interested, I'd love to continue this conversation.

Thanks

Dan

D.W. Lichtenberg
Managing Editor
La Petite Zine

This is pretty much the only way I want to dance ever.

2011-06-08T00:21:00.000-07:00

This is pretty much the only way I want to dance ever. Also, this is my theme song.

Paper Tigers.

2011-05-30T16:25:00.000-07:00

Finally, Huang decided to open a restaurant. Selling food was precisely the fate his parents wanted their son to avoid, and they didn’t talk to him for months after he quit lawyering. But Huang understood instinctively that he couldn’t make it work in the professional world his parents wanted him to join. “I’ve realized that food is one of the only places in America where we are the top dogs,” he says. “Guys like David Chang or me—we can hang. There’s a younger generation that grew up eating Chinese fast food. They respect our food. They may not respect anything else, but they respect our food.”

Rather than strive to make himself acceptable to the world, Huang has chosen to buy his way back in, on his own terms. “What I’ve learned is that America is about money, and if you can make your culture commodifiable, then you’re relevant,” he says. “I don’t believe anybody agrees with what I say or supports what I do because they truly want to love Asian people. They like my fucking pork buns, and I don’t get it twisted.”

Some thoughts on the day my dad died. And a poem for my mom.

2011-05-24T00:11:00.000-07:00

The Lichtenbergs a few years before I joined the team.

So many people I know, myself included (myself even more so than most), bury themselves in their work. Work is a term used very loosely in this modern world. Work is usually a safe thing, a landscape barren of anything but the most surface of emotions. It's so easy to live a life of work and not acknowledge what's really important. It's an easy way to turn your back on your emotions.

It's a lot harder to look around, acknowledge what is most important in your short life, and engage in the most important things in a sincere way. It's a lot riskier. It's a lot more of everything at once all the time. And because everyone you know will one day not be there anymore, I have a hard time being convinced by anyone that family (however you define the word family) should take a backseat as you "focus on your career." Even if your career is as an artist that pursues emotional truth, or whatever bullshit you want to sugar coat it with.

It was impossible for me to know that one day I'd wake up with a voicemail from my grandmother telling me that my dad had been in an accident, had drowned, had died. There was no warning, no preparation, no excuses, and no apologies. There was nothing but the fact that every day for the rest of my life I'd be without my dad. But now, two years later, I at least know that it could happen at any time to anyone. And the best thing that has come out of it is to know that I have to be careful not to dig myself into an emotion-averse trench.

Last year, I thought a lot about all the things I missed. This year, I am thinking about something much better. I am thinking about all the people that I love who are still with me.

Last year, I recorded a poem that I'd written for my dad. My relationship to my dad was complicated, and it was always a mixture of positive and negative emotions. That type of thing always makes for a good poem. This year, I recorded a poem I've written sort of for my mom, in the organic way that someone writes a poem for someone without intending to do so. My mom is the person who has always been there for me and who I know will always be there for me. She is the only person I will ever be able to say that about. Maybe the poem is not as good as the one for my dad, because my feelings for my mom are uniformly and unforgivingly positive. Maybe this leads to sentimental dribble. Maybe this blinds me from the truth. I don't know. And I don't care. Either way, no apologies.

MOTHER

The poem is pretty much true. Pretty much everything in it is true. Except that patient is sort of a small amalgamation of a few of my mom's hospice patients over the years.

Yrs

Dan

If you can figure out why this is the best thing ever then you are the love of my life.

2011-05-19T22:01:00.000-07:00

If you can figure out why this is the best thing ever then you are the love of my life.

This was an accident.

2011-05-18T23:53:00.000-07:00

Accidents are what make things pretty.

Saw this and thought wow.

2011-05-10T01:04:00.000-07:00

Gunter Sachs, Ex-Husband of Brigitte Bardot, Dies at 78

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/10/world/europe/10sachs.html

Ex-husband of Brigitte Bardot. What a way to quantify life into a headline. Into a headline that people will click into. If I ever kill myself, can you just hide my body and not tell anybody except my family, so that way nobody but the people I love can try to quantify my life?

Yrs

Dan

Dear Editor.

2011-04-25T23:31:00.000-07:00

Dear Editor,

Boy and girl wander through post-graduate life with no direction and the inability to emotionally connect to anyone. Boy goes on road trip. Girl cheats on boyfriend. Boy and girl reunite at college reunion. Hope-fate misleads them. Boy and girl don't connect.

Please publish my manuscript, TIME FLIES IN WAYS.

Love,

Dan

P.S. This is our generation.

Enthusiasticism: A Necessary Reading.

2011-04-17T22:38:00.000-07:00

ENTHUSIASTICISM: A NECESSARY READING

Coffee Bar, April 26, 2011, 6:30 PM, Free

1890 Bryant Street San Francisco CA 94110

The Necessary Reading Series is enthused to invite you to join the enthusiasm of the enthusiastically enthusiastic celebration of NOAH GERSHMAN's debut collection of poetry, "The Enthusiast."

Featuring NOAH GERSHMAN, author of "The Enthusiast" (Snail Press 2011).

Also enthusiastically featuring the following writing enthusiasts:

LIZZY ACKER was born in Oregon on the exact same day Lil' Wayne was born in Louisiana. As is the case with all people born on September 27th, 1982, she's spent much of her life crafting mad rhymes, playing the game, overcoming the odds, drinking cough syrup and learning about the gun laws of New York State. Her first book, "Monster Party", was released in December of 2010 by Small Desk Press. She will show you her tattoos if you ask politely.

STEPHEN ROSENSHEIN hails from the beautiful Pacific Northwest. As an undergraduate at George Washington University, he accidentally majored in Psychology. After realizing his embarrassing mistake, he ran away to South America for several years before resurfacing in San Francisco to pursue an MFA in Creative Writing at San Francisco State University. He sometimes writes poems in the shape of countries he has visited. Find out more about his fascinating life at stephenrosenshein.wordpress.com.

Showing promise at the ripe young age of seven, CHEENA MARIE LO self-published her first collection of poetry entitled "Cheena's Poetry," which explored complex issues such as self-hood in relation to her new role as a big sister and the untimely death of her first goldfish, Freddie. Eighteen years later, Cheena is pursuing her MFA in poetry at Mills College. Her spirit animal is the turtle, and she is best known for leaving parties early.

The Necessary Reading Series is brought to you by D.W. Lichtenberg.

Poem for Poetry.

2011-04-03T23:16:00.001-07:00

Pretty sure
every day I find poetry
or the idea and concept of poetry
more and more absurd.
Also I forgot to empty all the puke out of my trashcan.

Bad names.

2011-03-30T19:43:00.000-07:00

Also, there's a profile of me up at SF Weekly. It's pretty funny. Here's my favorite part:

The first time I saw Dan Lichtenberg read I thought he was a little shit with an overpracticed bit and an attitude problem.

Egypt.

2011-01-30T17:01:00.000-08:00

I wrote this thing at We Who Are About To Die, a group blog I write for. It's about Egypt and I consider it to be a rant worth reprinting in my personal blog:

Last night, admittedly in a drunken haze, a friend of mine said “I’m kinda just tired of this whole Egypt thing.” I thought to myself, Holy shit, holy shit, what an idiot.

To be fair though, his opinion is relevant. And he’s actually a very intelligent person.

Before I go on, let me just state that I am as unqualified to have a relevant opinion on politics as the average American. I took some politics classes in college, and have always been an avid news reader, but my knowledge is greatly limited. I’m extremely liberal in ideology and my two main new sources are The New York Times and The New Yorker (The New Yorker especially; I read it cover to cover weekly, with the exception of the fiction and the poetry, which I find totally conventional and uninteresting—but that’s another rant).

For the past few days, I’ve been convinced that right now is the most important moment in my lifetime. And I’ve been baffled that nobody in my immediate social circle seemed to care about Egypt. For years, the West’s approach to the Middle East has been to try to encourage and expedite peace and cooperation through whatever ways it thought necessary (usually very bad ways). The underlying principle in the West’s policies has been that, if left alone, the Middle East has very little hope of an organic revolution by the people, for the people. That is the arrogance of the West, in the most general sense (many exceptions exist, many that I’m sure I don’t even know about). But in the past ten years, as Iraq and Afghanistan have shown us, there’s no such thing as coercing something into democracy. There’s only coercion.

Maybe some disagree, but it seems to me that the best opportunity for “peace in the Middle East” is a series of organic grassroots movements. Egypt (and Tunisia) is the precedent and encouragement that other oppressed people in the region should be emboldened by. Now is the time, if ever.

I understand that Egypt has almost no relevance to the everyday lives of Americans. And this is why it’s perfectly understandable that nobody (and by nobody, I am talking about my immediate social circle, so maybe that’s just my own fault) gives a shit. But I’d like to suggest that this attitude of “I’m kinda just tired of this whole Egypt thing,” is a perfectly legitimate starting point. It’s one that suggests that the person who said it has not thought about the importance of Egypt.

The more we talk about Egypt, the more things will be discovered. The more we have a dialogue, the more likely it is that we can find ways to help. And the more we write about it, the more likely Egyptians are to know that the world is watching, and that the West wants Egypt free as much as the Egyptians.

Maybe that sounds corny as hell, but I don’t really care. You know?

EVERYTHING FACES ALL WAYS AT ONCE book release.

2010-10-25T23:59:00.000-07:00

EVERYTHING FACES ALL WAYS AT ONCE RELEASE PARTY

Space Gallery, November 4, 7:00 PM, $12

1141 Polk Street, San Francisco, CA 94109

Reading: Zulema Renee Summerfield and D.W. Lichtenberg

I'm pleased to announce that I'll be opening for Zulema Renee Summerfield at her book release party next week. She won the Michael Rubin Book Award this year, which is the award that my book won last year. A passing of the torch. And it could not be to a more deserving, talented writer. See you there.

Cheers &

Dan

Her eyes were uneasy.

2010-10-20T22:18:00.000-07:00

Her eyes were uneasy is totally separate from she was uneasy because her eyes could have been uneasy to serve a purpose, such as her desire for you to think she was uneasy.

I highlighted this. Does that mean something?

2010-09-17T16:18:00.000-07:00

I was reading an article I wasn't particularly interested in the New Yorker today. I highlighted this passage:

"You come to work and you say to yourself, Oh, my God, how do I get through my everyday life right now?" he told me. "Do you know what that does to your body and soul?" He got through it the way a lot of people do: he lived what he called a parallel life, one anxious and miserable, the other assured and cheerful. ("Now my life is not so parallel," he says.) Being a New York guy, he found that many things about the Bay Area, including the expression "the Bay Area," annoyed him: the focus on fitness and the weather, all the biking up and down mountains. "There's more to life than a weather report," he told me. "Every week, they had a ski week." He also missed his acerbic friends, "the openness of New York, the spilling of the guts, in the extreme." He said, "There's no one to laugh with in San Francisco."

This guy pretty much hit it dead-on. And it makes me sad, but also happy to know I'm not the only one. It makes me feel insane, but also sane. East coast-bound?

Cheers &

Dan

The new issue of La Petite Zine is coming out and we're having a party in Brooklyn.

2010-09-15T17:33:00.000-07:00

A co-release party with La Petite Zine and Annalemma. With readings by Sasha Fletcher, Paul Kiatkowski, Laura Ireland, Kristin Languell, and Ben Mirov. DJ set by Unicornicopia. Live set by Sweatpants. Insane fun time. I'll be flying to the east coast just to be there. See you there. See you there.

Oh I made this video.

2010-08-30T20:43:00.001-07:00

Oh I made this video. Look how pretty I shoot.

Literary Death Match SF, Ep. 32: Highlights! from Opium Magazine on Vimeo.

Hey look, I copied Joe Brainard and shit.

2010-08-21T18:01:00.000-07:00

I recently read Joe Brainard's I Remember for the first time. It was maybe the first book of poetry in years that I really loved, to the point of thinking that it was an important thing in my life, it was an important moment, the day I picked this book up. I'd read excerpts from it before many times, but its strength really is in the full read of the book. I wrote down so many lines from it that I loved, and was going to share them all, but I think that would be bad, to reveal too much, so here are just a few:

I remember nothing to say when someone tells you your fly is unzipped. (p. 148)

I remember trying to save money, for a day or two, and quickly losing interest. (p. 116)

I remember that area of white flesh between the pant cuffs and the socks when old men cross their legs. (p. 96)

And then you know, I was so damned inspired that I started manically writing my own I Remembers. And I think it's definitely going to be the heart of my next book of poems, like a very long I Remember poem that is placed right dab in the middle. I imagine it being about 10 to 50 pages long. So I started writing it and it's ongoing, but I read what I had so far at Quiet Lightning reading series a few weeks ago. Here's a video of the reading:

Yeah I don't know, who knows, you know? Just trying to get by and all.

Cheers &

Dan

Reading about transitions.

2010-08-07T14:07:00.000-07:00

Isn't everything about transitions? (That's a frosty way to speak.)

Doesn't care. Doesn't want to be your friend.

Come see me read about transitions. Isn't everything about transitions? (That's a frosty way to speak.)

I don't know, do you?

InsideStorytime TRANSITIONS, at Cafe Royale on Thursday August 19^th, 6.30 - 8.30 pm, will feature readings from Cornelia Nixon(Jarrettsville), Matt Stewart (The French Revolution), D. W. Lichtenberg (The Ancient Book of Hip), Karisma Rodriguez, and others.

So now what?

Everybody is the same. Everybody is different. Everybody is in transition.

I'm the featured author at Apostrophe Cast.

2010-07-30T13:01:00.000-07:00

Long time no creep.

I've been blogging pretty hard over at We Who Are About To Die, so I've been neglecting this.

Here are some selects from WWAATD that I wrote:

I realized that I could be in a band and make money doing it.
an interview with Tally Hall's Andrew Horowitz

Models & politicians must be the happiest people.

an exquisite corpse

You Got Served by the Wizard of Oz.

the art of appropriation

I just found out that this is a blog.

meta-text

Every notebook needs a home.

the story of how I lost and regained my notebook

And in other news, as of today I am the featured author of Apostrophe Cast. They have a podcast of a chapter from my novel in progress up to listen to.

Apostrophe Cast

Cheers

Dan

My book is reviewed at New Pages and I kinda like that.

2010-07-04T00:56:00.000-07:00

I really like this review of my book (THE ANCIENT BOOK OF HIP, duh) at New Pages. I guess New Pages is kinda a "place" to be reviewed at, and I didn't know they were going to review the book, so that's cool. The Rumpus and the Bookslut reviews were also big deals, but New Pages is kinda a token destination of the lit world, you know? (You totally don't know.)

I loved that the focus of the review was the poem Poem for Jon, which is probably one of the poems in my book that means the most to me, and is so simple. You can read the full poem on my website, actually, here.

I like this a lot:

Throughout the collection, there are two opposite tendencies at work – there is an optimism and idealism, quickly followed by dismissal or mocking of that optimism.

This is something I do a lot, I think. No, I know. I go all in. I dive right in. I fucking put it all down on the table. And then I pull back and dismiss. Retrospective embarrassment is a term I have sort of invented to quickly illustrate my constant dive in, dive out mentality. It's something powerful, you know? To invest so heavily in something and then pull pull pull away.

Read the full review (it's a short one, and not really necessarily positive or negative) at NewPages.com

At this point, my book has probably been reviewed at more places than 90% of the small press poetry titles that come out each year. But the truth is, they seem to be totally unrelated to sales. Who reads these reviews? Nobody? If somebody, apparently it doesn't lead to a book sale. What does lead to a book sale? Seems like the lit blog I contribute to W e Who Are About To Die has actually been a lot better in so many ways in promoting my book and me as a writer. That's kinda sad because not nearly as much analytic thought goes into that scene. And thinking about the books that I've personally been led to buy because of the lit blog hype around them, well, they were interesting reads because they're a driving force of the future of literature, but they were not explosively amazing, or even close to that. (Not to say that my book is.)

Cheers &

Dan

Today I adopted The Gefilte Fisherwoman, my Ampersand Literary Superhero

2010-06-01T08:00:00.000-07:00

Today I adopted The Gefilte Fisherwoman, my Ampersand Literary Superhero.

Melissa Broder, a.k.a. The Gefilte Fisherwoman, is now mine.

The Gefilte Fisherwoman's new book, WHEN YOU SAY ONE THING BUT MEAN YOUR MOTHER, is super. And can be bought at SPD or any fine independent bookstore that carries SPD titles (request it duh).

Check it. From the Bees Knees Blog:

There will be a full-length interview with The Gefilte Fisherwoman on the Bees Knees Blog in the June issue.

I'm excited to see what The Gefilte Fisherwoman's secret powers are.

Cheers &

Dan

A year ago today my dad died. So here is this.

2010-05-24T02:28:00.000-07:00

A year ago today my dad died without warning.

I wrote this poem a few months ago, and I recorded it and edited it in time for today.

It's called "Poem for Dad" and was published at The Rumpus around the time they reviewed my book.

This poem will eventually be the best poem in my collection FRIENDS & ONE NIGHT STANDS, which maybe will find a home, and maybe will not.

The recording of this poem is sort of the first step, and not the final. It's going to be part of a poem and music EP. I think there will be four tracks on it, maybe eight. Eric Lewis will probably be writing some of the music, and Jon Carrelli will probably be writing some of the music. I think this EP will be available on vinyl in the next few months. Probably only on sale through me.

So here's the audio recording of the poem:

POEM FOR DAD

Feel free to share it with others. I release those rights if I ever had them.

And here's the poem as it's written:

POEM FOR DAD

My brother called me up on the phone and said Hey Dan dad called me up again. He’s worried about you again, man. Isn’t it about time you started doing something with your life? Like, you know, get it together man, pull it together. Get a life. You’re gonna give dad a fucking heart attack for chrissakes.

I am together, man. This is my life. I push around words for a living. I’m a professional word pusher. And if you don’t like it why don’t you just pick up a dictionary, pick out a word and go shove it up your ass, man. And I hung up.

Let me point this one out for you. Nothing I write is fake. Nothing I write is true. But that one, that one’s a lie.

It’s the foreverness. It’s the day my dad died and I’m not picking up his telephone call because I’m chasing a chick. It’s the ever since that day my hands shake when I hold things.

And I remember I remember being little with my brother not wanting to wake up in the morning, my dad walking into the room, Up and at em boys up and at em, he’d come right from bed where he slept naked, I remember thinking what a huge fucking dick he had, and it would wag back and forth as he moved from my brother’s bed to mine, no glasses on, liable to bump into any number of things.

So. Now I will attempt to do something I've never done formally, which is pick this poem apart. I recently spoke to a class and was sort of kindly coerced into explaining this poem, and it got me thinking, so here are my thoughts.

Paragraphs 1 and 2:
This is the only part of the poem I wrote before my dad died. I didn't realize that specifically until recently. It's interesting to have this in the poem because it's sort of a mean-spirited section. And the truth is, my father and I were not always friendly. Well, actually, I think he liked me a lot more than I liked him. But as I grew older, we grew closer, and it was only in the last few years of his life that we were very close.
This scenario never happened. My brother never called. My dad would never tell me to stop being a writer. At times he would be worried about the viability of my career decisions. But for the most part, he was confident that I would do whatever it takes to do whatever it takes.
This is mostly me just imagining things, and also me sort of feeling like an outsider in my family, and sort of me being angry at the appreciation of my lifestyle that only ran as deep as the surface. This is me being very revealing. More revealing than I will ever be about my writing. There's also a small amount of bullshit thrown into this analysis. Because I am, generally speaking, a bullshitter.

Paragraph 3:
This is the turn moment. This is the moment that means everything and nothing. This is my reflexiveness. This is me saying fuck, aren't I a sick fuck, why am I publicly writing this poem. This is also me being very vulnerable.
This is the only part of the poem that takes place in the here and now. In the present.

Paragraph 4:
This is a moment from the day my dad died. I was chasing a girl. My dad texted me a picture of the sunset from the beach. Then he called me later. Most likely to brag about the Florida weather. Which was his favorite thing to do on the telephone. Or in general.
This is me trying to in some way blame myself for my father's death. This impulse is really interesting to me. There's nobody to blame, nobody. But I want to blame myself. That, to me, is an amazing thing, and a point of tension in the poem, in my life.

Paragraph 5:
This is the heart. This is the living organism. This is the memory, the only memory of my father in the poem. It's shared with my brother, who is definitely the only person that experienced my dad's death in the same way as myself. Was I thinking about that when I put this into the poem? Hell no. If you think I was, you greatly overestimate the amount that intellect is involved in writing, or at least my writing.
Also, this moment is funny. This moment is the heart. This moment is embarrassing and graphic and would make my dad uncomfortable and makes me uncomfortable and makes my family uncomfortable.
This is the heart.

So apparently this is how I celebrate the one year memorial of my dad's death. This is something. Here is this. This is me attempting to come to terms with life. This is me thinking two things. This is me thinking: the one cliche in the world that is definitely, no definitely true, is this: loss gets easier with the dulling of time. And the other thing I am thinking is about when people say life is not always fair. And I am thinking, that is kind of bullshit, don't you think? Fairness implies deservedness. I think maybe nothing is or is not fair, because nobody deserves or does not deserve anything. Shit just happens.

Cheers &

Dan

Metallica vs. Prince: The Lichtenberg-Kitzmiller Self-Promotion Test

2010-05-08T16:47:00.000-07:00

Recently, a musician friend of mine, Willy Kitzmiller, and I were discussing my career and the way an artist must self-promote. Must treat himself like a brand, like a business entity. I was saying, you know, I hate it, I hate that shit. Willy was saying, yeah you know, but you gotta do it.

Thus began a new chapter in self-promotion. We now announce the Lichtenberg-Kitzmiller Self-Promotion Test. This is not a gauge of whether you're doing enough self-promotion or not. This is not a 0-100% scale, for instance, where 50% is ideal because it's not too much and not too little etc.

On one side of the scale we have Metallica. Metallica is a band that is everywhere. Everywhere. And they jump on every wagon they can, with little real discrimination. I have no idea whether or not their music is good. I assume it sucks. But they are everywhere and will always sell records. Pure saturation. Their brand is one for the masses.

On the other side we have Prince. Prince is also everywhere. But in a different kind of everywhere. He's always at the back of our brains. His self-promotion seems very organic. He has an exclusive brand. He won't even let people use pictures of him on the internet and shit. He controls his exposure enormously to create a sort of luxury brand. His music is great, he's a pop master, very accessible, yet exclusive.

We decided that I lie somewhere in the middle here. Slightly closer to Prince. But still nowhere near as discriminating of an approach as Prince.

Both musicians on this scale promote, I'd say, an equal amount. It's just that Prince's brand's strategy is to be almost nowhere, almost hidden, but still very there. And Metallica's brand is to be everywhere.

Questions?

No?

Okay good. Now go out and change the fucking world.

Cheers &

Dan

GODDAMN I AM SUCH A JERK, I CAN'T DO ANYTHING.

2010-04-05T01:07:00.000-07:00

THE OLD FOREVER NEW THINGS

MY MIND HAS A MIND OF ITS OWN

YOU'RE MEASURING ME LATELY, AND I CAN TELL I'M LOSING WEIGHT.
DO NOT TELL ME I'VE CHANGED, YOU'RE JUST RAISING YOUR STANDARDS.

SHE TOOK A SAD SONG, MADE IT SADDER

WHERE DID YOU GET THAT PENCHANT FOR DISASTER IN THE WAY YOU TALK

DO YOU THINK THE GIRLS HERE EVER WONDER HOW THEY GOT SO PRETTY?
OH WELL I DO.

THE ASHTRAY SAYS YOU WERE UP ALL NIGHT

YOU WROTE A BOOK ABOUT YOURSELF
THE PEOPLE LEFT IT ON THE SHELF
YOU'LL WRITE ANOTHER ONE
NOW YOU'VE GOT A STORY THAT'S WORTH TALKING ABOUT

AND I KNOW THAT I MISSED YOU, AND I'M SORRY IF I DISSED YOU.

IF YOU COULD MAKE ANOTHER ONE OF YOU, YOU WOULDN'T GIVE THE OTHER ONE TO ME. WHEN THE CONDUCTOR FUCKS UP, YOU CAN'T BLAME THE SYMPHONY. SO I WON'T BLAME YOU IF YOU DON'T BLAME ME. YOU WERE DOING SOMETHING ELSE THAT DAY. YOU WERE DOING SOMETHING ELSE THAT DAY. YOU WERE DOING SOMETHING ELSE THAT DAY. YOU WERE DOING SOMETHING ELSE THAT DAY.

This is a list of lyrics I've randomly on the spur of the moment assembled.

This is a list of lyrics I've taken and put in my own writings. I've stolen, beaten, battered, then destroyed.

This is a list of words, of words that I like and am not afraid of using.

YOU SHOULD HEAR THE WIND IN MY WINDOW

I'm not sure how I became a poet. Or even if I am a poet. In fact I don't think I really am a poet. I just like sentiment. I just like it when somebody looks at me in that way that's like: YEAH I GET YOU MAN.

These are words that make me think: YEAH I GET YOU MAN.

Cheers &

Dan

Poetry is a joke. And other things.

2010-04-04T01:52:00.000-07:00

POETRY MONTH AT PEGASUS BOOKS DOWNTOWN

Pegasus Downtown, April 8, 7:30 PM, FREE

2349 Shattuck Avenue, Berkeley, CA

Reading: Britta Austin, Alisa Heinzman and D.W. Lichtenberg

POETRY IS A JOKE

Elbo Room, April 17, 6:00 PM, FREE

647 Valencia Street, San Francisco, CA

Reading: Melissa Broder, Dava Krause, Del Ray Cross, and D.W. Lichtenberg

For some reason I'm reading at a shit ton of places in April. Probably has something to do with it being poetry month I guess. Above are two readings I'm doing with kick-ass posters. Pegasus Books will be my first ever Berkeley reading, so you all better be there.

The rest of the April readings are in San Francisco:

VIRACOCHA PRESENTS:

A BENEFIT SHOW FOR POEMS UNDER THE DOME

April 6, 8:00 pm, $5

Viracocha Creation Factory

998 Valencia St.

San Francisco, CA 94110

Also performing:

Musicians THC, Keep Sweet, and Front Junk

Poets Pam Benjamin, Amy Cruz, M.G. Martin,
J. Brandon Loberg, Monica Storss, and D.W. Lichtenberg

WRITERS WITH DRINKS

April 10, 7:30 pm, $5

The Make-Out Room

3225 22nd St.

San Francisco, CA 94110

A monthly variety show hosted by Charlie Jane Anders

With Pia Z. Ehrhardt, Diane Lefer, Tessie Chua, Michelle Gagnon, D.W. Lichtenberg

Come to one of them. And if you claim that you read this blog post, I will buy you a drink.

(Note: Offer not valid while Dan's drunk)

Cheers &

Dan

Here's a thing I wrote on a napkin like three years ago

2010-03-02T23:35:00.000-08:00

Here's a thing I wrote on a napkin like three years ago. I think I was in Paris. Because that was the last time I was in a McDonalds by myself that I remember.

It's pretty bad. Below the picture I've translated it into regular words.

It says:

It's one of those moments where two people lean real slow over the table, each inching in hoping the other inches in as well, anticipating the kiss. Except they couldn't really reach without it being awkward. So it stopped in the middle. It was one of those times you could just tell it was their first kiss. Oh, and it was at McDonald's. And also, I'm scribbling this onto a napkin, from the next table over. There was an awkward pause after which time she said to him, "Well, you gonna make your move?" except not in a sexy way. In a really cheesy, jokey, awkward way. Or even, might I suggest, in a McDonald's sort of way. And they kiss. Real McDonald's-like. Just lips, like the way somebody applies windex to glass with a rag. I'm not quite watching; (they looked around to make sure they were walled off from the gazes of strangers) but I hear some McDonaldy giggles and a few more squishes like that rag being dragged across the glass, applying the windex in an uncalculated, awkward, hesitant but obviously excited kind of way.

It's kind of nice for what it is, which is sentimental dribble.

But what's really interesting to me is that this is a prime example of why I write. This sums it up. Period. I am constantly stealing things from people, writing events I witness down in notebooks, on napkins, take-out menus, sometimes recording them with an audio recorder, and most recently all over mother fucking post-its. Post-it notes have totally taken over my room, kinda like ivy growing on walls or something.

Here's a picture. Myspace style.

Going back to McDonald's. The Rumpus reviewed THE ANCIENT BOOK OF HIP a few days ago. It was a mostly negative review, with a few good things. The reviewer said my book was like McDonald's. Immediately pleasurable but ultimately empty (paraphrase). That's unfortunate. Although, I can tell he comes from a very different school of thought from me. And the thing that really bothered me about the review was what I perceived to be his unwillingness to judge the book within its own ambitions. He instead seemed to be judging it based on his own ambitions as a poet. My poetry has very little in common with mainstream conventional literary poetry. I'll be the first to admit that my work often falls short of my ambitions, but the review at The Rumpus didn't seem to be interested in taking the book's ambitions into consideration. Too bad, as this was by far the largest-scale piece of press my book has received.

Read the full review here:

http://therumpus.net/2010/02/the-ancient-book-of-hip/

I also noticed that I got a considerably larger amount of traffic to my website (like 100x more) from blogs that blogged about my book than from The Rumpus. I wonder if that's because the review is negative or if because blogs just have way more readers. Or maybe it's the intimacy level between publication and readership.

Check this out. Me and a bunch of other ridiculously good-looking poets tell Melissa Broder how twitter has affected our writing.

Also, stay tuned, I'm going to be writing for a new group blog that should be a lot of fun. Contributors will include a bunch of kick ass poets like Daniel Nester, Jen Hyde, Melissa Broder, and others to be announced.

Oh, last night I got real drunk and read at the Elbo Room for the first time since winning Literary Death Match there in November. I read at the Quiet Lightning reading series. Pretty fun time. I read something brand new, and I think everyone could tell I was drunk, which is always a good thing. And then today I was still drunk when I woke up for work, which is always a good thing.

Cheers &

Dan

Audio recording of my Think Coffee reading is now available

2010-02-19T00:47:00.000-08:00

Dear Loyal Fanbase,

For everyone who missed the very awesome reading I had with Andrew Palmer and Renee Rakel at Think Coffee NYC, the audio from the night is now available over at dublit (no cost or anything).

Here's Andrew Palmer reading "If I Were Fit" and "What She Said":

Andrew Palmer Reads at Think Coffee NYC

Here's me and Renee Rakel reading "Two Things":

D.W. Lichtenberg and Renee Rakel Read at Think Coffee NYC

I think I also read some other poems from my book.

Did I mention how fun the Think Coffee reading was? No? Well, here's a picture of me with a goofy two-teethed smile on it. The kinda smile that says: nobody ever told me to shut up so I guess I'll keep talking.

Cheers &

Dan

P.S. I've been off the road now for three weeks. Haven't read. At all. To an audience. Although on Monday I went into an undergraduate class and talked about my book. But. Still. Off the road is good. But on the road is better. Let me know if you want me to read, anywhere, anytime, I'm around f'sho.

Recap of Think Coffee New York City reading

2010-02-02T23:54:00.000-08:00

I've read from THE ANCIENT BOOK OF HIP, according to my website, seventeen times in November, December, and January combined. This included bookstores, coffee shops, bars, radio stations, libraries, and by far the most fun was a seventh grade english class. I think the most special night on the east coast tour of my book was at Think Coffee on January 13, 2010.

It was special for a bunch of reasons. Number one was that it was my NYC "solo" show. Number two was that because it was a solo show, and because I didn't think I could pack the place by myself, I got Andrew Palmer, a fucking great writer, to read before me (he read a great little story that just went up on MCSWEENEY'S and that you should all read: http://mcsweeneys.net/2009/10/12palmer.html ). Number three was that the wonderful Renee Rakel, an actress I went to school with, performed my long letters poem with me. And the biggest reason was that so many of my friends came out to support me and see me read. Think Coffee was totally packed to capacity that night. It was really a great time.

Here are some pictures.

Andrew Palmer reading from either his story WHAT SHE SAID, which is in the new issue of FOURTEEN HILLS, or his story IF I WERE BUILT, which you can read at MCSWEENEY'S.

Renee Rakel reading a letter that she opened. We performed a series of letters from THE ANCIENT BOOK OF HIP, letters that about half of the crowd were also opening as we opened and read them.

Me showing the crowd a picture that was in the envelope I opened. The picture has a monkey holding a balloon on it. It reads "It's the birthday hug monkey!" and on the inside "You cannot resist the birthday hug monkey." (This drawing is also in my book in found letter form).

Me & Renee reading letters together.

The letters.

I read a few more poems after the letters.

One of the poems I read was POEM FOR CHARLES. Charles was in the audience (right) and when I read the poem that night, I read it to him. He enjoyed it, I think.

Me & Charles (and a shit ton more of my friends) got drinks after the reading, around the corner, at Tom & Jerry's. Good times. Werd.

Thank you everyone for coming to see me read while I was on the east coast (mainly in New York). And if you didn't come to my readings, shame on you. Now you wish you had. And hell, there's a very good chance I'll never read on the east coast again. Unless you know somebody that wants to publish my next book?

Cheers &

Dan

D.W. Lichtenberg reads at Green Line Cafe in West Philly tomorrow, January 19, 2010

2010-01-18T13:43:00.000-08:00

D.W. Lichtenberg reads from THE ANCIENT BOOK OF HIP

at the Green Line Cafe Poetry Series in West Philly

Tuesday, January 19, 2010, 7:00 PM, FREE

4426 Locust St. Philadelphia, PA, 19104

also reading is poet & playwright Sekai Afua Zankel

hosted by Leonard Gontarek and Lisa Grunberger

Cheers &

Dan

A poet's favorite movies of the decade.

2010-01-18T09:46:00.000-08:00

Recently, I traveled into the future so that I could write a "best of the decade 2010-2019" list of movies for litdrift.com. That list can be found here. But below is my favorite movies of 2000-2009.

A poet’s ten favorite movies of the decade.

I was having a conversation with my good friend, John McMinn, who is a great filmmaker (his short film, Clan McCormack, which I produced, appeared at Cannes in 2008). We were discussing the predicament of all these “best of the decade” lists. Mostly, he’s right, they’re pretty stupid. And he was hesitant to make one because he doesn’t think he’s seen nearly enough. Maybe that’s a legitimate concern, but I said it would be a more legitimate concern if he was Roger Ebert or something like that (...). Then I said, our lists, which have little hope of publication beyond a personal blog, are implicitly restricted by the movies we’ve seen, which makes the list more personal anyways, because it’s a reflection of who we are. I don’t see this as a problem, as long as the reader understands this list’s limitations. For more information on who I am, drop me an email, or read some of my writing, or come see me perform my writing, or buy my book. Or just follow me on twitter, which is way more revealing anyways.

This will also be an interesting time capsule for my own personal use.

Some of the ordering of these movies is insignificant. But a lot of deliberation went into what would and would not be on this list.

The best movies of the decade:

1. ADAPTATION.

Director: Spike Jonze. Writer: Charlie Kaufman, Donald Kaufman. Year: 2001. Country: USA.

This movie is a deconstruction of the formula of mainstream narrative film, and the conventions of all traditional storytelling. It also has three of the best performances ever, including two from Nicholas Cage and one from Chris Cooper. All the characters are desperately alone, and Kaufman (with some help from Jonze) brings filmic conventions into the consciousness of the audience to force an epiphany onto his protagonist (himself) that feels much more real than the constructions of Spielberg or Scorcese or pretty much anybody making movies today.

2. GEORGE WASHINGTON

Director: David Gordon Green. Writer: David Gordon Green. Year: 2000. Country: USA.

This was the most promising first film of a director since before I started paying attention to movies, and I can think of nothing better from a first-timer with the exceptions of, maybe, Noah Baumbach and Roman Polanski. This movie succeeds purely on what I think of as Gordon Green’s empathy for his performers, who are mostly non-actors. With hardly any script and hardly any plot, this movie is as important to contemporary American cinema as Breathless was to French New Wave.

3. MYSTIC RIVER

Director: Clint Eastwood Writer: Brian Helgeland. Year: 2003. Country: USA.

A murder-mystery, a thriller, based on a best-selling novel, directed by a seasoned artist, an all-star cast. This is a common Hollywood formula used for movies with big investments and big returns. There’s little risk involved in this sort of movie for anyone. But Clint Eastwood seems to put everything he’s got into everything he does. If I was writing an essay on why Hollywood works, this would be the prime text. But I don’t really think Hollywood works, and I’m not writing an essay about it.

4. THE SQUID AND THE WHALE

Director: Noah Baumbach. Writer: Noah Baumbach. Year: 2005. Country: USA.

Maybe the reason I think this is one of the greatest movies ever made is because I, like the protagonist (and Baumbach himself), was constantly sandwiched in the middle of my parents’ divorce. Maybe it’s the Jewish thing too. Or maybe it’s because this movie is efficient and brutal with its honesty, with its quirk, and with its performances. This is the movie that I wanted Wes Anderson to make after Rushmore and The Royal Tenenbaums. Instead, he followed his balls, while Noah Baumbach followed his heart (after the hilarious Kicking and Screaming).

5. THERE WILL BE BLOOD

Director: Paul Thomas Anderson. Writer: Paul Thomas Anderson. Year: 2007. Country: USA.

Daniel Day-Lewis gives one of the greatest performances I’ve ever seen on screen. The film has a multitude of experimental and non-narrative elements while at the same time holds some mainstream appeal. It should’ve swept the Oscars. And if Hollywood wants to remain relevant in the wake of emerging new media, the Academy has to support this film with more than just nominations. It has to hold this film up and tell the world that this is the future of American cinema; that fine line between commercial viability and artistic boldness.

6. WOMAN ON THE BEACH (HAEBYEONUI YEOIN)

Director: San-soo Hong. Writer: San-soo Hong. Year: 2006. Country: South Korea.

Originality is a thing of the past. I tell this to myself over and over when I can’t get to sleep at night. Being a working artist and having gone to film school, this sort of cynicism is ingrained in me. But when I see a movie like Woman on the Beach, which seemed to have appeared out of thin air, I regret my cynicism. I start to think that the people who’ve taught me that originality is dead might just be people unwilling to take risks. This movie is one big risk wrapped around a ton of little risks.

7. Y TU MAMA TAMBIEN

Director: Alfonso Cuarón. Writer: Alfonso Cuarón. Year: 2001. Country: Mexico.

Cuarón has gone on to have huge commercial success. He’s made the only Harry Potter film worth seeing, and Children of Men, an allegorical apocalyptic action movie that criticizes America and the Bush Administration in a convincing way. But his best and most humble movie is his first, Y tu mamá también. The eroticism (and the language barrier) prevented so many people from seeing this film, but it’s as complex and satisfying as any love triangle movie I’ve ever seen (see: Godard, Altman, Truffaut, Cassavetes, etc.). Most interesting are the homosexual themes explored in the movie, leaving viewers with no easy answers. This is a carefree road trip movie that turns into not just a personal epiphany, but a comment on sexual identity and Mexican culture (a comment that can easily translate to American culture).

8. THE PIANIST

Director: Roman Polanski. Writer: Ronald Harwood. Year: 2003. Country: UK/USA/?.

I failed to see The Pianist until 2007, despite it having been directed by one of my favorite directors, Roman Polanski. Having been raised Jewish, going to synagogue, being around Jewish people, I am very much uninterested in the politicization and phenomenalization of the Holocaust. There is such an enormous body of fictional and nonfictional work around this tragedy, and I was constantly surrounded by it when I grew up. My opinion stands that we do not really need another Holocaust movie. But this is not another Holocaust movie. It’s a master at work. And I’ve never seen a better movie about the Holocaust.

9. WALTZ WITH BASHIR (VALS IM BASHIR)

Director: Ari Folman. Writer: Ari Folman. Year: 2008. Country: Israel.

This is the only documentary on my list. I don’t see many documentaries unless they’re directed by Warner Herzog, the Maysles Brothers, or Errol Morris. But Waltz With Bashir is using the documentary form in a way that I’ve never seen. I’m interested in seeing how close a documentary can get to narrative filmmaking, which is why I especially gravitate towards verité documentary. But this constructs a narrative in a fictionalized way, a dramatization of events that is in no way cheesy. By animating the entire movie, Folman has avoided the awkward line that highlights the difference between dramatization and raw interview or archival footage in so many unconvincing documentaries. And he saves the only pieces of archival video from the actual event (the 1982 Lebanon Massacre of Palestinian and Lebanese Muslim civilians by Lebanese Christian militiamen) for the very last moments of the film.

10. THE LIVES OF OTHERS (DAS LEBEN DER ANDEREN)

Director: Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck. Writer: Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck. Year: 2006. Country: Germany.

A member of the secret police in Communist East Berlin becomes so interested in the people he’s spying on that he hides evidence of their wrongdoings. This sounds like pretty much every other terrible cold war movie released for the past fifty years. But then the novelty comes in: this movie is actually in German. It’s not just Tom Cruise with a bad accent. And it turns out that the story actually is a great one, and humanizing the bad guy works when it’s combined with a delicate directorial hand and performances that never compete with each other. One of the most refreshing things about movies from countries with virtually no film industry is that there are no real stars. I leave this movie thinking I’d watch other movies revolving around each of the particular characters individually. Everything about this movie is strong.

10½. SYNECDOCHE, NEW YORK

Director: Charlie Kaufman. Writer: Charlie Kaufman. Year: 2008. Country: USA.

I was tempted to put every single Charlie Kaufman movie on this list (Confessions of a Dangerous Mind doesn’t count). Then I realized that Being John Malkovich was released in 1999, and since it would be impossible for me to put every one of his movies on this list, I might as well only put his two best of the decade. I haven’t seen a movie recently that has challenged me more as a viewer than Synecdoce, New York. It demands that I watch it again, and even after several viewings, I can only safely say I understand about 15% of what’s going on. So I return again and again.

Notables:

CACHE, CODE UNKOWN, DANS PARIS, EASTERN PROMISES, GRIZZLY MAN, KILL BILL: VOL. 1, KINGS AND QUEEN, MARGOT AT THE WEDDING, MEMENTO, MILLIONS, MONSTER’S BALL, NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN, PUNCH-DRUNK LOVE, THE PRESTIGE, THE ROYAL TENENBAUMS, SNATCH., UNITED 93, YOU CAN COUNT ON ME

The worst movies of the decade:

CHARLIE BARTLETT, DEJA VU, THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA, THE ILLUSIONIST, THE INCREDIBLES, THE KINGDOM, THE TAKING OF PELHAM 1 2 3, V FOR VENDETTA, WEDDING CRASHERS, YEAR ONE

Cheers &

Dan

D.W. Lichtenberg reads at UMass Boston, Jan 15, 2010

2010-01-15T13:53:00.000-08:00

Brian Fadem in awe of his new pair of sneakers.

I just read at the UMass Boston bookstore. It went all right. But more importantly, after the reading, I was shown around by my brother and his friend Brian Fadem. Also by my cousin and her friend, who took us to this secret shoe store called "Bodega". Brian bought a pair of custom-made $135 Nikes, pictures above. They came with three pairs of shoe laces, all different colors. Not bad. Not bad at all. I bought nothing. Because I am poor and on a booktour that's costing me more money than it's making me. Next stop: Philadelphia. Tuesday, January 19. Green Line Cafe.

Cheers &

Dan

Recap: D.W. Lichtenberg on WKDU Philadelphia 91.7 FM

2010-01-11T23:16:00.000-08:00

I recently performed some poems, talked about my book, THE ANCIENT BOOK OF HIP (Fourteen Hills Press, November 2009), made some music selections, talked about some music, on the radio. WKDU 91.7 FM Philadelphia! I believe this was... December 22, 2009. Somewhere around 5 PM. I think you can listen to a stream of it online somewhere but I forget how to get to it. Perhaps someone will enlighten me in the comments section.

Here are some killer pics from the radio.

Um. Left to right: WKDU personality Tommy Storck, musician Eric Lewis, poet D.W. Lichtenberg (me duh). Tommy was a co-host of the night. Eric was providing improvisational music behind my poems. It was rad. You can tell because we all look like we're having a great time. Especially me.

WKDU radio personality Jon Carrelli interviewing poet D.W. Lichtenberg. So dramatic with the shallow depth of field. It's like you're IN THE ROOM WITH US.

This one is pretty good. Right? Tell me I'm right. Or don't. Fine.

This is me slapping my forehead. Because I always thought people slapping their foreheads was a pretty authentic sort of thing to do. (That's a line from my book. Yep.)

This is just us posing for the camera, pretending we're on the radio, which we are, because obviously it says "on the air" right behind us. Pretty fucking cool, right? FUCK YEAH IT IS.

Okay fine. So now that you've seen me in action on the radio, you want to hear me in action on the radio. Well, I don't know. If you're lucky, somebody will post the podcast or whatever in the comments section. If not, deal with it.

And if you're in the Philadelphia area, look out for D.W. Lichtenberg and his crew, THE ANCIENT BOOK OF HIP, because we hit the streets January 19th at the Green Line Cafe in West Philly. I'm reading at the Green Line Cafe Poetry Series, curated by Philly poet Leonard Gontarek. 7 PM I believe.

Cheers &

Dan

D.W. Lichtenberg reads at Think Coffee NYC... the only thing to do on a Wednesday night

2010-01-10T16:53:00.000-08:00

Okay. I admit. Surfer Blood is playing at Bowery Ballroom the same night. So yes, if you go to this show, tell me how it was, because I kinda wished I was there instead. But if you don't go to this show, you better be at my show. This is the big solo show, with two amazing special guest readers: Renee Rakel (an amazing actress and musician that I've worked with) and Andrew Palmer (a fiction writer I was introduced to a few months ago by Fourteen Hills, also has been published in McSweeney's and other awesome literary magazines). RSVP on facebook.

D.W. Lichtenberg reads from The Ancient Book of Hip

Think Coffee, January 13, 8:00 PM, FREE

1 Bleeker St. (at Bowery), New York, NY

with special guest readers

Andrew Palmer & Renee Rakel

book will be available for purchase & signing

If you come to one of my readings in New York, this is the one. It's going to be that extra special reading where everything clicks and everyone has a great night. Or where everything goes wrong and everyone comes away with nothing. One of the two. This is going to be sort of like my New York City book release party. Even better than my San Francisco release party.

I've spent at least 30 or 40 hours preparing specifically for this event. I've got a few special tricks up my sleeve prepared for Wednesday, so if you love me, or if you hate me, come, please come. And if nobody blogs about how awesome this event was to attend, I will likely kill myself (being blogged about is way better than winning an Academy Award).

The first 20 people to arrive and either a. purchase a book or b. have a book in hand will receive a special little something that I've made. One day when I'm pumping out NYT bestsellers it will be a collectors' item.

And if I don't see you there, I know you're at Bowery Ballroom seeing Surfer Blood, and the next time I see you I'll expect a blow-by-blow of the night. BLOW-BY-BLOW.

Cheers &

Dan

P.S. Thanks to Lauren Race for designing this killer poster. She's a Brooklyn-based graphic designer. Check out her stuff here.

Just Announced: D.W. Lichtenberg reads at Book Thug Nation

2010-01-06T22:08:00.000-08:00

JUST ANNOUNCED:

D.W. Lichtenberg reads from THE ANCIENT BOOK OF HIP

at Book Thug Nation in Williamsburg (Brooklyn)

January 23, 7:00 PM, FREE, 103 N. 3rd St. Brooklyn, NY 11211

with special guest reader JOHN MASTERSON

This will be fun. Book Thug Nation is a great little bookstore that just opened up in Williamsburg off the Bedford L train stop. Very intimate, very cool. They're also selling my book there now, autographed copies! Reading with a great author that was published in the most recent issue of Fourteen Hills: The SFSU Review, John Masterson.

In other similar news, my book can now be purchased at four new bookstores in New York City:

Spoonbill and Sugartown Booksellers in the Williamsburg neighborhood of Brooklyn

Mercer Street Books in Greenwich Village, Manhattan

Book Thug Nation in Williamsburg, Brooklyn

McNally Jackson Books in SoHo, Manhattan (they don't have the book in the store quite yet, but they will in a week or so)

Both of these great things make up for the fact that I read to a whopping crowd of eight people at the Polestar Poetry Series at CakeShop NYC. I guess the shitty weather kept people away. I think I put on a good show anyways, despite kinda laughing hilariously to myself on stage. I had that same feeling I get when I hold my shampoo bottle in the shower and sing to myself.

Hope to see you at my BIG BIG BIGGEST show of New York, the one at Think Coffee! Mark your calendars, January 13. Details on my site: http://dwlichtenberg.com/readings

Cheers &

Dan

Lecturing about THE ANCIENT BOOK OF HIP to SFSU class Writers on Writing

2009-12-25T20:28:00.000-08:00

On December 7, 2009, I lectured to an SFSU class about my book, THE ANCIENT BOOK OF HIP. I read from the book, talked about it, and then answered questions.

The best question came when I was discussing something about how I aspire to be accessible. I was talking about how I want to write poetry that normal people can read and understand and enjoy, that's my greatest aspiration. Someone raised his hand and asked me what a normal person was. I thought about it for a bit and I said, "My mother is a normal person." Then I went on to say that I thought my father was this very surface intellectual that had these intellectual values and stuff, but my mother I think really operates on an emotional level and is very intelligent emotionally, which I think she has in common with a lot of "ordinary people".

It went well overall. I think a lot of people enjoyed it, the book was assigned to be read before the class so I got a bunch of great and very challenging questions.

On December 22, 2009, this past Tuesday, I did a very informal interview and reading with Jon Carrelli on WKDU 91.7 FM Philadelphia. I'll post pictures at some point. They came out great. Jon is a good friend of mine and invited me onto the radio while I was in the Philadephia area, doing readings for the book. We talked, discussed the book, I read some poems and a short story, we picked out some music, and had a lot of fun.

Coming up January 3, 2010 (new year!) I will be reading poems at the Cake Shop in New York City. Very excited about this reading, it's probably the best venue I will be reading at on this east coast book tour. You should come out. I'm also reading with: Akilah Oliver and Laurel Kallen.

Details:

POLESTAR POETRY SERIES
January 3, 5:00 pm, free
Cakeshop
152 Ludlow St.
(at Stanton)
New York, NY

http://polestarpoetry.blogspot.com/

Cheers &

Dan

Musings after the halfway point of the east coast book tour of THE ANCIENT BOOK OF HIP

2009-12-17T21:05:00.000-08:00

Dear loyal fanbase of D.W. Lichtenberg and THE ANCIENT BOOK OF HIP,

After my first three readings of my east coast tour, I am ready for many many more. And I've got many more before I head back west. Lemme count. Five more in the next month. Six counting the radio reading. I'm loving the readings, although the "back-end" (the promotional side and the worry that nobody will show up to my readings) is wearing me down.

When I get up to the mic, or the podium, or the nothing, and I say (pretty much the same thing every time) "Hey my name is Dan, I'm gonna read some poems I wrote to you," from there on out I love it. No real pressure, my performance is usually pretty 'on'. Don't get nervous. Just do my thing, and get into character, and for the most part I would say I've been outperforming whoever else is on stage, and the crowd has enjoyed the performance, or at least sat through it without wanting to pull the plug. But there are so many things besides getting up there and doing your job involved in a tour. I'll mention three things here, all of which I am mentioning not to suggest that I am on my wit's end, more just because I hadn't entirely anticipated a lot of the challenges of touring outside of performance.

1. Online publicity. A no-brainer. Do publicity. But how do you successfully publicize your event? I recently found a great website that I'm sure everyone else already knows about and I'm just a dumbass: booktour.com I've created an "author profile" on the site here. Via this site, I (very painstakingly) entered all my book tour dates into this xml sheet, then put the xml on my website, then plugged it into their site. Now all my dates are listed on their site, and supposedly when it's listed on their site, it gets auto-sent to a bunch of other sites (plus supposedly their site is the single biggest book reading list in the world). It took me a long time. I'm not sure I will be able to constantly sustain it (up-to-date press mentions, book info, etc.) considering all the other online identities I have (facebook, twitter, this blog, my personal site, dublit, etc. etc.). Even though its purpose is to streamline my promotional activities, it doesn't seem to control enough of the potential audiences for these readings to use only booktour.com to promote your tour. Therefore, it's just a lot of extra work, but work that I am doing along with so many other things.

2. Assumed support system. I did a reading in my hometown tonight. I chose to do this reading for three reasons. One I thought it would be cool, just plain cool, and fun. Two I figured a lot of people would come. Three I figured a lot of books would sell because a lot of people would know me. Turns out not a lot of people came, and I did not sell a lot of books (it was at least somewhat cool and fun, and everybody that showed up seemed to have had a good time). The support system that seemed so obvious was not there. Apparently not everyone is as passionate about making sure people show up to my readings as I am. In SF, I've been lucky and had a lot of friends really go the extra mile. On the east coast, a place where I haven't lived for two years, I really shouldn't expect the same. You can't assume that just because you've known a person since you were a toddler, that person will be genuinely interested in and dedicated to seeing you read and helping you promote your book. I should've been calling these people up, emailing, facebooking, and also using the more public-aimed promotional tactics.

3. Reading to a crowd that didn't come to see you. At all. I read at Franklin Park Reading Series on Monday. The headliner of the night was Nick Flynn. I am not ashamed to say that I put on a better performance than him. But as I quickly realized when he got up to the mic, everyone in the room (it was packed!) came to see him. They laughed and clapped at the drop of a pen for him. And even though I think the crowd enjoyed my reading, it was not an easy go-through. I had not anticipated this. In San Francisco, I read at Literary Death Match with three other authors, all with books out on major publishers. At least two of them were as big as or bigger than Nick Flynn. But the event is designed in a way to put every reader on the same level (and plus I had a lot of friends in the crowd that were loud). I really thought, as I read to the crowd, that either they were not at all getting me, or I was performing poorly. But the truth was that everyone was there to see someone else, and I'd just never been an opener for a huge name with a lot of hometown support. Now I know. Bring it hard. But also don't expect to sweep the crowd off their feet. People often operate on predetermined biases. And I sold no books to that crowd that night. I still got great exposure and a decent amount of applause. And it was a great reading overall. I heard some amazing poetry, and was introduced to a poet that I really like, Rebecca Keith, who shared the bill with me, Ethan Hon, and Nick Flynn.

So. So.

So.

Basically, going into this book tour, I thought: Holy shit. How am I gonna sustain this? Can I really get up there and read night after night? What if I'm just terrible, or boring, or choke, or have a nervous breakdown on stage?
Now that I've been reading from my book for over two months at all these places:
Monica Storrs Benefit Show, Amnesia Bar, San Francisco
Litquake's Lit Crawl, City Arts Gallery, San Francisco
Piratecat Radio, San Francisco
Literary Death Match, Elbo Room, San Francisco
Book Release Party, Space Gallery, San Francisco
Velvet Revolution, SFSU Poetry Center, San Francisco
SFSU Lecture to class Writers on Writing, San Francisco
21 Club Poetry Series, San Francisco
NYU, New York
Franklin Park Reading Series, Brooklyn
Easttown Library, Berwyn, PA

I've definitely been slowly coming to terms with the fact that I can't just expect a great reception if I get up to the mic and kill it. Because I've been killing the mic. Looking at those dates, I've killed the mic at probably two thirds of those readings, but haven't always killed the crowd.

So. So. So.

So what?

Cheers &

Dan

Tonight I read in my hometown at the Easttown Library, 7:00 PM

2009-12-17T12:44:00.000-08:00

December 17, 2009 7:00 PM

D.W. Lichtenberg reads from THE ANCIENT BOOK OF HIP

at the Easttown Library

720 First Avenue

Berwyn, PA 19312

THE ANCIENT BOOK OF HIP will be available for purchase at event. Signing after reading.

This marks my first ever Pennsylvania reading, and my first ever library reading. Be there.

Cheers &

Dan

P.S. Poster was created by my friend Julia Zangwill, who is a great graphic designer that works at Nickelodeon.

THE ANCIENT BOOK OF HIP New York Tour has begun

2009-12-12T23:25:00.000-08:00

My first New York reading for THE ANCIENT BOOK OF HIP was at NYU Friday night. Went great. Read to a packed house, 100+, and people liked my work. Or at least they pretended to.

Moving on... my second show is sure to be one of the best readings I have ever been part of. It was recently featured in Time Out New York as a critic's pick for the week (okay maybe the reason it was a critic's pick wasn't because of me, but because of a much more famous poet, but fuck, even more reason to come so you can see me impress the crowd that all came for some other guy, right?). Come. I will be there early so all my drooling fans can schmooze with me and get me drunk.

Monday night

December 14

8:00 PM

Franklin Park

A great bar in Crown Heights, Brooklyn

Nick Flynn, Rebecca Keith, D.W. Lichtenberg, Ethan J. Hon

I go on first

Here's a MAP if you're dumb like me and never learned to use google maps

Okay fine. Fine. I curse. A lot. It's not my fault I'm a poet.

Cheers &

Dan

P.S. My book will be for sale there and I will sign it for you. But if you want to get it early, but it online here or, because duh one day is not enough time for UPS to ship it, buy it at Spoonbill & Sugartown in the heart of the phenomenon of hip, Bedford Ave in Williamsburg.

Reading tomorrow, November 30, 2009 at SFSU's Poetry Center

2009-11-29T16:38:00.000-08:00

Dear loyal and mostly non-existent fan-base,

Tomorrow night at 5:00 PM I am reading from my book, THE ANCIENT BOOK OF HIP, at San Francisco State University's Poetry Center.

Here are the details:

Velvet Revolution Reading Series, featuring Justin McElfresh and D.W. Lichtenberg

November 30, 5:00 pm, free
SFSU Poetry Center, Humanities Building #512
1600 Holloway Ave
San Francisco, CA 94132
Reading with Justin McElfresh. Open mic following reading.

Justin McElfresh is an amazing poet that I've studied with at SFSU. This should be a really interesting reading because his approach and poetics are very different from mine. We also have a very special performance planned for the night.

In other news, I have quite a few readings coming up. I will be doing a lecture at SFSU on December 7th, to the class "Writers on Writing," which you can go to and sit in for if you're interested. This will be the first time I publicly talk about my book (as opposed to the readings I've done from the book). The lecture is in the Humanities Building in room #133. It should be really interesting, I am coming totally unprepared for the questions that will be asked. Who knows what will happen.

New York is just around the corner. I'll be at NYU in a few weeks doing a reading, then at the Franklin Park Reading Series in Brooklyn.

I was recently reading some stuff that Stephen Elliott, a pretty big SF writer and founder of therumpus.net, had written about touring his books. He's doing something pretty awesome. He's asking people who have read his book and enjoyed it to host him in their homes for a reading. He's doing this a few ways: via his blog, twitter, and other social networking tools; also via a program he created when his book, "The Adderall Diaries," came out. He gave away something like 400 galleys to fans who signed up via his website, with the promise that they would pass the book on to a certain number of people. Apparently, a lot of those people have asked him to come to their homes and read. He likes the intimacy, the high attendance rates (that seem to occur because the host is very invested in the success of the reading), and the fact that these people tend to buy more books than at a random bookstore where a handful of folks show up to hear someone they've never heard of before. It's also a great way, I think, to turn this concept of viral web marketing on its side. Using a very impersonal tool to coordinate a personal, grassroots kind of movement. Seems like a great way to build a very involved fan-base. So what I'm getting at here, people, is: who wants to host a reading in his or her home for me? Anyone interested, feel free to email me. I'd love to do as many as I can, it seems way more exciting than going to a stuffy bookstore where I'm very very much afraid that there will be two people in attendance, one quite drunk and heckling me, and the other a disillusioned teenage girl.

Cheers &

Dan

Recap of THE ANCIENT BOOK OF HIP release party

2009-11-23T16:33:00.000-08:00

Dear loyal fan base,

I HAVE A BOOK I HAVE A BOOK ihaveabook.

Last Wednesday, November 18, 2009, was a blast. It was the release party for my first ever book, THE ANCIENT BOOK OF HIP, and was hosted by my publisher (which I am an active member of now), Fourteen Hills Press.

The lineup for the night was:
Artwork all night by David Gerbstadt
DJ Max Cox with warm up jams
Tess Patalano with some killer verse (and unverse)
Truong Tran with a mix tape of song lyrics, none of which he actually wrote, despite being by far the most famous person of the night
D.W. Lichtenberg (me) reading from my book
DJ Tystix with the after-reading dance tunes

It started with tons of people (we had over 100 in attendance throughout the night, sold around 90 books) taking sticky notes and placing them all over David Gerbstadt's art. The sticky notes were used to organize who was buying which Gerbstadt piece. David Karp at Examiner.com covered the event, and here's what he had to say about the art:

"The release party contained a tinge of magic it would be hard to express better than Dan's childhood friend David Gerbstadt does in his drawings. David created the cover to The Book of Hip and flew in from Pennsylvania for the event... The walls both upstairs and down were plastered with ecstatic moments, cheers, and encouragement, each for only $1. I think David told me there were 337 different pictures, all unique and simple and beautiful."

Well-put. When I first found out I was having a book published, I knew in a split second I was going to ask Gerbstadt to do the cover. Something I really aspire to in my work is writing that ravishes because of its clarity and simplicity, and David Gerbstadt does that more than any other visual artist I can think of off the top of my head.

Matthew Davison and Chris Hayter from Fourteen Hills Press introduced the night. They were both quite flattering. They talked about the award itself, which is the Michael Rubin Book Award. It's given out once a year (alternating between poetry and prose) by the SFSU Creative Writing Department, and is blindly judged by a guest writer. This year it was John Skoyles, bigtime Boston poet and editor of Ploughshares, one of the top literary magazines in the country.

Then Hollie Hardy and Tera Ragan of Fourteen Hills Press introduced one of my best friends, the poet Tess Patalano. Fourteen Hills Press' blog writes: Tess "...shared a series of poems, including a pantoum about a renegade bull at an illicit New York rodeo." Check out the video of her reading on YouTube.

Hollie then introduced Truong Tran, who, as I said before, was by far the biggest name on the bill for the night. Instead of reading his poems, he read a mixtape of song lyrics, including David Bowie and Lady Gaga (not a typo). Check it out on YouTube. Truong was also kind enough to take note of the fact that it was my birthday (the day before, November 17) and gave me a new baseball cap as a present.

Then I went on. By the way, if you didn't notice how everyone has a pair of rip-off Raybans in all these pictures, now you notice, and now you get an explanation. The first 80 or so guests to enter the Space Gallery got a free pair of shades. I then asked them all to put the shades on as I was on stage and get a picture of it. The picture did not come out well. I shoulda put the flash on. Damn. Fuck. Shit. Oh well, no big deal.

I read a bunch of stuff from my book, THE ANCIENT BOOK OF HIP. You can see the reading on YouTube, compliments of David Karp at Examiner.com. Tess Patalano came on mid-set and we read love letters to the crowd (also in my book).

And late in the set I read a poem from the book called "Poem for Dave Gerbstadt" (who was in attendance). The Examiner seemed to like that moment, although it was not intentionally the highlight. In fact, the only thing I knew I was going to read in advance was the letters. The rest was spontaneous decision. This is a cool little bit from the article:

----

But the best was when Dan read his "Poem for Dave Gerbstadt."

It's easy to shout
I love you
into an empty field
But harder to find
someone to take you seriously

And Holden Caufield just wants to catch kids
in a field full of them
And Dave Gerbstadt
just wants to paint alongside
kindergarteners in art class

Recently Dave was
riding down the street
on a stranger's bicycle thinking:

What if I hadn't ever grown up in the first place
What if I'd cheated maturity somehow got out of jail free

Thinking of all the things
he'd want to be
when he grew up
that he hadn't known existed
the first time around.

What if I just fired adulthood but in the nice way by letting it go

Just then he felt a pain
and the second he felt it
he stopped feeling it
and next thing he knew
he was in
the hospital

Dave is awesome
and next time I see him
I am gonna give him a high five I think

Dan walked over to his friend Dave and they did share a high five right there in front of everyone. It was one of the better high fives this reporter has seen. Signing off for Examiner.com I am, Evan Karp.

----

Not bad! I hadn't actually planned on high-fiving Gerbstadt. I saw him near the front, and went for it.

Great reading. Buy the book. Come see me read elsewhere. I'm hitting a few more SF spots before heading east, then I will be in Philadelphia, New York City, and Boston.

Cheers &

Dan

D.W. Lichtenberg's "The Ancient Book of Hip" Release Party Tomorrow 7pm

2009-11-17T19:39:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is November 18. The release party of my book, "The Ancient Book of Hip," is happening at Space Gallery SF. I was just there helping artist David Gerbstadt hang his art for tomorrow, it's gonna be great. Great readers Tess Patalano, Truong Tran, and me. Great art, all on sale for a dollar each, by David Gerbstadt, all made for tomorrow night. See you there. 7pm 1141 Polk St. San Francisco CA

Literary Death Match & Pirate Cat Radio Recap

2009-11-15T16:32:00.000-08:00

Good news, I won Literary Death Match SF Episode 23 this past Friday! (November 13, 2009) I read an excerpt of a story I wrote called Jason Look. You can read part of the story on my website at:
dwlichtenberg.com/excerpts
or you can watch the entire performance on youtube:

What does this mean for my career? Well, I mean, once you win Literary Death Match, there's nowhere to go but down, right?

Check out the article about the event written by The Examiner's Evan Karp. He wrote: "D.W. Lichtenberg won with an excerpt from a story called "Jason Look" and an aloof, roguish delivery. I do think this is as it should have been because D.W. clearly displayed talent..." Never thought of my performances as aloof, but hell, that's pretty much dead-on now that I think about it.

Here's some pictures from the event.

Left to right: Michael Capozzola judging performance, Arline Klatte judging intangibles, and Todd Zuniga judging literary merit. Sky Hornig hosting.

Left to right: Charlie Haas reading from his novel The Enthusiast, who eventually met me in the finals. Shanthi Sekaran, who read from her novel, The Prayer Room.

Seth Harwood reading from his novel, Jack Wakes Up, battling against me in the second round gangsta style (he dropped O.D.B.).

A bunch of pictures of me pacing manically on the stage, throwing pieces of paper and empty gum wrappers on the ground (and also reading an excerpt from a short story I wrote called Jason Look).

Charlie Haas and I (crew in tow) battling off in the finals in a very competitive game of musical chairs.

Me high-fiving friend and former student of mine Hilda Morones, who came out to cheer for me and ended up getting my back and volunteering to be on my musical chairs team.

Also, earlier that day, I went on the airwaves with Diamond Dave and Pam Benjamin. I read some poems from THE ANCIENT BOOK OF HIP, they asked me a few questions, it was a good time. Pirate Cat Radio. The podcast of the radio show can be found at: http://www.piratecat.dreamhosters.com/podcasts/DiamondDave/DiamondDave-20091113.mp3

All in all, a pretty solid November 13. My birthday is approaching, I will be 24 on Tuesday, the same day my book is released, and all is going pretty well, I must say.

OH! Forgot to mention. You can now, officially, BUY MY BOOK ON SMALL PRESS DISTRIBUTION! BUY BUY BUY!

Cheers &

Dan

(One last pic... victory photo session with the crew... Pistol Petey, D-Nos, Tera, Steeny, and me)

Giants With Bigger Books Collaboration

2009-11-10T13:43:00.000-08:00

Pac Man & Two Boots, a poem from my book THE ANCIENT BOOK OF HIP (which will be released in a week), has been masterfully turned into a song by Jon Carrelli, aka Giants With Bigger Books. Jon Carrelli was a member of Philadelphia-based indie rock band Moveable Type and now lives in Brooklyn, NY. The song, called Two Boots, can be heard at the Giants With Bigger Books Myspace Page. This early version of the song is part of Giants With Bigger Books' debut LP.

The song, I think, is rad! Let me know what you think. Jon might be performing with me at one of my upcoming New York or Philadelphia book tour dates.

Pac Man & Two Boots is not up on my site to read, unfortunately, but you can read a bunch of other poems from THE ANCIENT BOOK OF HIP on my website: http://www.dwlichtenberg.com/excerpts

By the way, in one of the poems on my site, Poem for Jon, the "Jon" is this same Jon Carrelli of Giants With Bigger Books. Read it here: http://www.dwlichtenberg.com/excerpts/poem_for_jon.htm

I got the galley of THE ANCIENT BOOK OF HIP in the mail yesterday. It's looking great. If you're interested in receiving a promotional copy, let me know.

Cheers &

Dan

Shanthi Sekaran, Charlie Haas, Seth Harwood, and D.W. Lichtenberg at Literary Death Match

2009-11-07T11:05:00.000-08:00

November's Literary Death Match promises to be a true and mighty battle with literary superstars, Shanthi Sekaran(The Prayer Room), Charlie Haas (The Enthusiast), Seth Harwood (Jack Wakes Up), and D.W. Lichtenberg (The Ancient Book Of Hip) lining up to go word-to-word.

And all of it will be judged by Porchlight's Arline Klatte, cartoonist extraordinaire Michael Capozzola, and Opium's own Todd Zuniga on Intangibles.

Hosted by Sky Hornig and Alana Conner.

When: Friday November 13^th; doors open at 6:30, show at 7:15 p.m. (sharp!)
Where: The Elbo Room, 647 Valencia Street
Cost: Pre-order for $10-20 to guarantee a seat; $5 at the door. Free entry if you pre-order Opium9!

http://www.LiteraryDeathMatch.com/upcoming-events/november-13-2009.html

Litquake reading at City Art Gallery: pictures, pictures, pictures

2009-10-31T12:46:00.000-07:00

My reading at Lit Crawl 2009 was great this year. I read from my upcoming book, THE ANCIENT BOOK OF HIP, at Fourteen Hills Press' slot in the night. It was Phase 2, 7:15 at City Art Gallery. I read alongside Jenny Pritchett and Jill Tidman. I already posted about the reading, but Matthew Davison, who is the executive director of Fourteen Hills Press, took some killer pictures on his iPhone that I just got ahold of! Here are some of them.

Here's M.G. Martin, who read right before me at Phase 1 of Lit Crawl down the street with the 16th & Mission poets. His shirt reads: "I'm not old enough to write poetry & so you'll never read this" (it's a haiku). Before I read, he asked me if I wanted to wear his visor. I told him I only write for sex.

A bunch of sweet crowd shots. People of all ages in the crowd. And, for the most part, almost the entire crowd was people I didn't know. Which is killer. Killer like lemon killer.

Picture of me in the crowd before my reading. Poems tucked into the sweater vest, ready to fight. Also ready to take shit for wearing a Phillies hat. This was a rare moment when I wasn't pacing back and forth while everyone read before me. I like to read first because if I don't read first, I can't even pay attention to the other readers.

Hollie Hardy, one of the M.C.'s of the night. And Jenny Pritchett, first reader, and Jill Tidman, last reader.

I think this is right after I took the mic. My poetry posse rushed up to the mic with me so they could all get good seats on the ground in front of me.

This first one is a mad cool picture. I didn't even realize there was a shitload of art behind me as I was reading. I think the contrast might add to comic effect, but certainly isn't a "good fit" environment for my work.

I just look like a total fool here. Pictures don't lie.

Now that you have the pics, listen to the reading on dublit:

http://dublit.com/stories/dw-lichtenberg-reads-lit-crawl-sf-2009

I bet if you looked at the pictures at the same time as you listened to the recording, it would almost be like you were THERE IN THE FLESH(no guarantees, I haven't actually tried this myself).

Werd.

Cheers &

Dan

There was never an elephant in the room, it was all a lie

2009-10-29T01:09:00.000-07:00

It's that time in my life too, man.

And then when you finally think it's over, when you finally think it's over

you hear that song you can't help but dance to

and you think it's not over, you think it ain't so bad.

Sometimes I think this whole project is retroactive, it's me reaching into the past, me wanting more of the past, me not wanting the future, not wanting what's in front of me.

And sometimes I think that's not such a bad thing, not such a bad thing. And sometimes I say fuck all, fuck all.

I wish I had a dream where I was eating dinner with Raymond Carver, my father, George Harrison, and Paul Celan. I'd never want to wake up, but not in a good way, in a self-destructive kinda way.

Cheers &

Dan

Recap of two readings: Monica Storss Benefit and Lit Crawl

2009-10-20T19:14:00.000-07:00

What's up kids.

In case you were wondering, I read twice last week from my forthcoming book, THE ANCIENT BOOK OF HIP. Both went pretty darned well. So in case you didn't get to see any of them, or were too drunk to remember, I'll fill you in.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009 was the Monica Storss Benefit Show. There was a surprising amount of hype in the press, featured on SF Weekly and the SFist (which I'm told is a 'very important' blog). It was a great event, with 10 great featured readers, including Monica (who made everyone cry) and M.G. Martin (who made everyone [stress on everyone] laugh). My reading was not as good as theirs, and I struggled to win the crowd over unsuccessfully. But I got drunk and had fun, and it was all to support Monica and the crummy medical bills due to her autoimmune disorder. Good show. Thanks to everyone who came out and donated to the cause.

Saturday, October 17, 2009 was Lit Crawl, the night when the literature community takes to the streets and literally (mhmm) takes over the Mission District of San Francisco. I read for Fourteen Hills Press, who had a slot in phase 2 with Eleven Eleven, at City Art Gallery. The reading was recorded and can be heard on dublit.com (that link is just to my reading, not the other readers). Others reading with me was Jenny Pritchett, winner of the 2008 Michael Rubin Award, and Jill Tidman, who was featured in Fourteen Hills: The SFSU Review issue 15.2. Good show! People really enjoyed the reading. And the exclusive invite-only after party at the Elbo Room was good. I danced.

Cheers &

Dan

Announcing Tour Dates

2009-10-08T16:25:00.000-07:00

Hey all,

I will be doing a bunch of readings in the next few months to promote my new book, THE ANCIENT BOOK OF HIP, coming out on Fourteen Hills Press on November 18, 2009.

I'll keep you guys updated if there are any new dates, and I'll try to let you know how they went. Feel free to tell everyone you know to come check one of my readings out when I'm in their city. I'll be hitting up Philly, Boston, and New York on the east coast, and quite a few readings in San Francisco.

By date:

·October 2009· SAN FRANCISCO, CA
BENEFIT SHOW FOR MONICA STORSS
October 13, 7:00 pm, $5 suggested donation
Amnesia Bar
853 Valencia St.
San Francisco, CA 94110
Reading with Monica Storss, M.G. Martin, Tess Patalano, Pam Benjamin, and more. Come support a great cause!
RSVP on Facebook

·October 2009· SAN FRANCISCO, CA
LIT CRAWL
October 17, 7:15 pm, free
City Art Gallery
828 Valencia St.
San Francisco, CA 94110
Reading with Jenny Pritchett & Jill Tidman
Fourteen Hills Press & Eleven Eleven
RSVP on Facebook

·November 2009· SAN FRANCISCO, CA
LITERARY DEATH MATCH
November 13, 6:30 pm, $5
Elbo Room
647 Valencia St.
San Francisco, CA 94117

·November 2009· SAN FRANCISCO, CA
BOOK RELEASE PARTY
November 18, 7:00 pm, $10, admission includes copy of book
Space Gallery
1141 Polk St. (at Sutter)
San Francisco, CA 94109
THE ANCIENT BOOK OF HIP, Fourteen Hills Press, book release party. Performance & signing by D.W. Lichtenberg in celebration of the release of the book & the Michael Rubin Chapbook Award. Art by cover artist David Gerbstadt will be on display. Special guest readers include Truong Tran and Tess Patalano. Guest DJ Tyler Styx.
RSVP on FACEBOOK

·November 2009· SAN FRANCISCO, CA
VELVET REVOLUTION READING SERIES
November 30, 5:00 pm, free
SFSU Poetry Center, Humanities Building #512
1600 Holloway Ave
San Francisco, CA 94132
Reading with Justin McElfresh. Open mic following reading.

·December 2009· NEW YORK, NY
NYU CREATIVE WRITING HOUSE
December 11, 7:00 pm
Lillian Vernon Creative Writers House
58 West 10th St.
New York, NY 10011

·December 2009· BROOKLYN, NY
FRANKLIN PARK READING SERIES
December 14, 8:00 pm, free
Franklin Park Bar and Beer Garden
618 St. John's Place
(between Classon Ave. & Franklin Ave.)
Brooklyn, NY 11238
THE ANCIENT BOOK OF HIP will be available for purchase at event. Also reading will be poet Rebecca Keith. Curated by Penina Roth.

·December 2009· BERWYN, PA
December 17, 7:00 pm
Easttown Library
720 First Avenue
Berwyn, PA 19312
Reading & book signing.
THE ANCIENT BOOK OF HIP will be available for purchase at event.

·January 2010· BOSTON, MA
January 8
Details forthcoming.

·January 2010· NEW YORK, NY
January 13, 8:00 pm
Think Coffee
1 Bleeker St.
(at Bowery St.)
New York, NY
Reading & book signing.
THE ANCIENT BOOK OF HIP will be available for purchase at event. Special guest reader Renee Rakel.

·April 2010· SAN FRANCISCO, CA
WRITERS WITH DRINKS
April 10
More details TBA.

I hope everyone makes it out to at least one! My book will be available for purchase at pretty much all the events. If it's not, it will be available on Nov. 18 on Small Press Distribution's website, spdbooks.org as well as in select bookstores around the SF Bay area and elsewhere.

See you there. I'll read you a poem, I promise.

DWL

THE ANCIENT BOOK OF HIP to be published

2009-07-21T15:59:00.000-07:00

Dear loyal fan base,

I recently found out that my book of poems, THE ANCIENT BOOK OF HIP, has won an award called The Michael Rubin Chapbook Award. This award is given by the San Francisco State University's creative writing department & means my book will be published by Fourteen Hills Press. The award was selected by poet John Skoyles, who teaches at Emerson in Boston & is the poetry editor of Ploughshares (a lit mag).

My book will be out in November & expect a bit of an update from time to time on this blog about readings, the release party for THE ANCIENT BOOK OF HIP, publishing dates, how to obtain a copy (signed by me upon request), & the like & the like.

Very good news indeed. Not quite good enough to balance the bad news of the past few months, but I'll consider it an appreciative nod from the gods & from the dogs.

More info about the book is forthcoming on the website of Fourteen Hills Press: 14hills.net

Also, my website is going to be up real soon. It is laden with content that will shock & appall & generally generate epiphanies. Generally. & I'm generally not liable for any letdowns & shortcuts. It will be: dwlichtenberg.com

You will be able to read excerpts from THE ANCIENT BOOK OF HIP & other works of mine, as well as find all the links to purchase the book, go to readings, etc & etc.

I may also take the leap & create a facebook identity for the book, but still on the wall. Whadja think about it?

Cheers &

Dan

2009-03-02T02:23:00.000-08:00

I bruise like a peach

I mumble when I speak

I'm in the gutter

Lookin' at the stars

I've always been in love with you

(boy least likely to)

Cigarettes and Sex

2008-06-23T23:30:00.000-07:00

Don't always go together.

And what about the far less publicized

other side of Cigarettes?

What about those that are lonely

and fill that gap

with a Cigarette on the way to work

a Cigarette coffee morning break

a Cigarette at lunch

and sometimes

a Cigarette just for the hell of it

right then and there.

May 2, 2008

InsideStorytime TRANSITIONS, at Cafe Royale on Thursday August 19^th, 6.30 - 8.30 pm, will feature readings from Cornelia Nixon(Jarrettsville), Matt Stewart (The French Revolution), D. W. Lichtenberg (The Ancient Book of Hip), Karisma Rodriguez, and others.